Live in the moment- MINDFULLY!
How many times have you been told to just “live in the moment”? And how many times did this person really want you to just “take a chill pill”?
The idea of “living in the moment” has been casually thrown around these days to just calm someone down. Often times to someone who is quick to react, quick to overthink, and a lot other times to someone who is too quick to feel, all of the above things too deeply. I hope its not hard to guess (since I am writing this) that I hate when I am told this and I hate it when anyone is told this so unreflectively.
The other day I was catching up with a friend, discussing other friends, their struggles during COVID and then we quickly moved to how much we miss old times and travelling. And like every other phone call this also became one where we aimlessly planned our trips and promised to meet soon. But suddenly I felt terribly accountable for possibly violating the freedom that I had during this pandemic. My family has been safe from the virus and living together in our countryside holiday home, I had the most understanding employer, and also the financial security to live life like nothing had happened. Immediately enough I was the party pooper for canceling on the plan and asking my friend to wait it out too. “Live in the moment”, he said.
I had just finished reading ‘Lean In’ by Sheryl Sandberg and was discussing corporate best practices. For those you haven't read this book, it talks about workplace women empowerment in a debatable way but still relevant enough to make you feel sad for some. Around that time one of my co-workers returned from her maternity break within 3 months. I couldn't stop and wonder if she felt guilty for having to balance both, was she getting the right emotional support, etc. It made me ask my colleague if she wanted more flexibility over meeting timings, share some projects and also general catching up and getting the baby on some calls. I was so happy to do this for her. I got into a conversation with my partner and things spiraled from one to another. I was talking about how there needs to be awareness around these struggles in a more realistic way. He believed those things were obvious around the more affluent class. That's far from true. I also know that he doesn't really confine to the patriarchic norms. Just that we have really stopped feeling too deeply for others, living on the surface, falling for the fake hustle culture. (I kinda wish I had male centric example so you believed I wasn't being a feminazi here. Equal world is an enabled world is my motto). So the discussion about the future of an equal world became intense, passionate. And there he said “Just live in the moment”.
To feel so strongly and be so aware of the future choices and impact you want make is a blessing not many are bestowed with. Empathy is a strong yet a strange thing. One cannot develop this ability in the very moment. It takes series of conversations with many individuals, personal experiences, inculcated awareness. It requires initial few rounds of listening, questioning, overthinking, comprehending to make it the obvious response. Climate change was an “obvious” topic 10 years back. Look where we are now. The real understanding of our past struggles and our future hope is what makes our present worth living. It makes it more meaningful when we extend this understanding to others too. A shallow “living in the moment” will not take you too far. We need to expose ourselves to the extremes of pain and happiness. Of self. Of others. Living in the moment doesn't mean avoidance of sorrows or worry. Mindfulness brings the attention and focus of your mind to the present. It also makes life more beautifully for others trying to live in their moments of struggle. The things to avoid are dwelling in the past, obsessively holding yourself accountable, disrupting your well being. Living in the moment, mindfully, truly means to believe in a more empathetic enabled world, reaping the benefits of collective fun, gratitude and happiness.
Well I am gonna go “live in the moment” with a nice cup of tea while it rains, with people I feel so deeply for at all times. ;)
